Did you know that I'm a bitch....

Disclosure...there is foul language in here. Those of you know I do not have a potty mouth (well at least not anymore) But I chose to use the exact words that were used today towards me. 

At about 10:30 AM Joshua got mad at me because I turned the page of instructions for origami and he got mad. I told him to have some patience’s. He said he couldn’t have patience. I told him that if he could not wait and have patience he could go to his room. He refused and I told him he needed to go to his room. He got up and knocked over the chair. I asked him to pick it up he said no, and that he didn’t care bitch. I told him he was in his room the rest of the day, his response was he didn’t fucking care.

He came out of his room with a hand full of money and said he would pay me for his bad behavior. I told him to get back into his room and he mouthed off saying things under his breath that I could not understand.

He went back into his room and started to shake his piggy bank, which started to get on Nathan’s nerves and mine so I turned the radio on loud.

He came back out about 5 minutes later and said he was sorry for his bad behavior. I told him that his apologies do not mean anything anymore because he is not making an effort to change his behaviors and told him to go back into his room. And for the 100^th time this week that his actions speak louder than words.

I called Joshua out of his room for lunch; he threatened to punch Nathan in his face.

I asked Joshua to clean up his room. He refused. He said he couldn’t find his laundry hamper, I went into his room, and it was in the middle of his room. I sat on his bed while he picked up his room. I then re-picked up his room, organized his closet and found a brownie in the floor of his closet – the ones that I made about 2 weeks ago. He said that Rich gave it to him. He couldn’t give me a reason as to why it was in his closet. (Joshua is diabetic and must check his blood sugar every time prior to eating)

He knocked one of his closet doors is off track.

I caught his window opened while the heater was on two times today. The first time there was NOT a tear in the screen. The second time there is. Joshua told me that he couldn’t get his money from outside and that he saw a crack in the window and threw it out.  He denies a tear in the screen.

I went to get something out of the hall closet and found a puddle in the bathroom floor. I asked Joshua if he peed or poured water on the floor. He said no. I made him clean it up. About an hour later when I went into the laundry room and their bathroom reeks of pee. I asked him again, and he admitted to peeing in the floor of the bathroom because he was scared. BULL SHIT!

I told him to come out to the table and sit on his bottom, chair on all fours, and be quite. He refused to.

This Momma needs a big fat drink!

I keep telling myself that it will get better, but when???

Dear Lord please give me the strength to be the mom that they need, cause they are pushing the limits with me! 

Guilty until I prove my innocents and behavior infractions...

Oh my gosh, I haven’t done a blog update since July! So much has happened!

Well I survived the summer break with the boys. I also was babysitting at one time three other children for a girlfriend! I made it through, with a few more gray hairs.

The boys went on their first all guys camping trip over the summer. It was an overnight trip to a campground near our home, near the Feather River. They had a blast. They got to go on a hike with Grandpa, play in the river and even fish. The boys brought home most of the dirt from the camp they were covered in mud from head to toe. We went to our first baseball game together as a family over the summer too!  We saw the Rivercats and the Oakland A’s play!

LEGAL UPDATE:

So as you all know that in July biological mom’s rights were terminated. Well about a week after they were terminated she filled an appeal to the termination. At that time we were told it would take 8 months to a year for the court to review the appeal and make a determination. Well, thanks to so many prayers and God being very faithful the appeal was reviewed in two months and was dismissed on September 9^th of this year.

So what does that mean, well California law stated that the children have to be in our care a minimum of six months with routine visits from the county social worker as well as our agencies social worker. Well the six-month mark for Nathan was 9.5.11 and Joshua was 9.12.11.

I received a call from the county social worker last week and she said that she had not yet received the “official” dismissal paperwork but she wanted to go ahead and put us on her calendar for us to come in and sign the paperwork, which as long as this “official” paperwork comes in within the next week we will be signing the adoption paperwork the week of Thanksgiving and will have a court date before the end of the year! PRAISE YOU LORD JESUS!

SCHOOL UPDATE:

Oh, but we still have our work cut out for us! School started back in August. Nathan is in the 5^th grade and Joshua is in the 2^nd grade. They are exceptional students and have high average grades. Joshua’s teacher(s) have him as proficient approaching advanced in Math and Advanced reading at a 3^rd grade level! Now if we can just get him to read chapter books with out pictures! Nathan received a medal for scoring proficient in ELA on California’s STAR test for last school year and he also received an award for scorning 100% on his chapter 1 math test.

But then the shoe dropped, Nathan started lying about his schoolwork. The first part of October he was assigned a book report. He told me that he was given time in class to read his book and to work on his report. Then about 1 ½ week’s prior to the report being due, he chooses to read “Lord of the Rings” which we watched the movie about a week before. I told him that this was not OK, and it is a form of cheating. Nathan’s response was that it doesn’t matter as long as he gets the report done.

GUILTY UNTIL I PROVE MY INNOCENT

In the middle of October I decided to have kidney stones again! (I had one about 3 years prior) The pain started on a Saturday night and was 100% worse by Sunday morning, so we dropped the boys off at my in-laws and Rich took me to the ER, 3 hours later, sure enough I had two kidney stones a 4 mm and a 2 mm one. So we picked the boys up and went home.

About 11:30 Sunday night the pain medications that the ER gave me had worn off, and I couldn’t get the pain under control; it was so bad I was throwing up. Finally at 4 AM I woke Rich up and asked him to take me back to the ER. We got the boys up, and drove to the ER. Two hours later I was feeling a lot better!

The reason I am telling you the story of my kidney stones is because we were reported to CPS. Apparently one of the boys told someone that they had to go to the ER because I had to have kidney stones removed, that the boys had to sleep in the car all night long, no one checked on them, no one checked on Joshua’s blood sugar and they were scared.

Give me a break! NO they did not sleep in the car all night long, yes they may have fell asleep on the way to the ER or on the way home it was 4 AM and they were woke up because their mom was in pain and sick! Now I am at the mercy of the hospital corporation with CPS for the nurse who took care of me to give a statement saying that yes the boys were inside the hospital ER with their mom and dad; I even gave them milk for them to take their medication and I allowed them to go into a break room and watch TV while their mom rested! Rich was with them at all times! It is my prayer that one of the boys said something and it was taken out of context and someone just ran with it, and who ever reported it truly thought that the boys were in harm, not someone trying to start drama. These boys have been put through too much, why in the world would I do that to them. They were scared enough because I had to go back to the hospital and I was throwing up!

JOSHUA’S BEHAVIOR INFRACTION…

So this past Monday the school’s principle called me to ask me to come down and talk with her and Joshua because he had a behavior infraction.

Apparently there was a group of about five girls that Joshua says were laughing at him. So he thought it was OK to call them a “B,” “F” and an “N”. He also told one of them that he was going to kill them and then he proceeded to break a plastic fork and started to stab his hand. When the principle had Joshua tell me this, I was thinking, “Good grief, really we just got done with a CPS investigation, and now this” The principle did point out that the silver lining to all of this is that Joshua was honest the first time and she didn’t have to drag anything out of him.  Which Joshua will like in half a heart beat to cover his butt. It takes three or four separate talks to get the truth out of him.

She decided not to suspend him, even though she was suppose to due to Joshua threatening to kill one of the girls.

Monday’s are their normal therapy days, so this was the topic of discussion with Joshua and his therapist.

AND THE NAME CALLING CONTINUES

Even though after the school principal, Rich, Joshua’s therapist and myself have talked to him how it is disrespectful to call people names, how it hurts other’s feelings, he still has continued to do so. This week alone, I have been called a “B” by an 8 year old at least 10 times. Told to mind my own “F’ing” business, to “F” off, etc. I think you get the picture. He’s hurting, and having a melt down and this is his coping skill, put up this little punk boy attitude. Oh, I will crack him; even if it’s the death of me I will crack him!